school jokes

1.  Not doing homework
PUPIL – “Would you punish me for something I didn`t do?”
TEACHER – “Of course not.”
PUPIL – “Good, because I haven`t done my homework".

2. Sleeping in the class
Joey and Katie are sitting in school.
Katie is sleeping and the teacher asks her a question.
"Katie, who created Heaven and Earth?" Joey sees Katie sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty! !" Exclaimed Katie.
"Correct." Says the teacher.
So the next day the same incident occurs and the same question comes up "Who created Heaven and Earth?" Katie (Again sleeping) is poked by Joey's pencil "Jesus Christ almighty!" she exclaims.
"Correct again." Says the teacher.
So the next day, for a 3rd time, The teacher asks Katie "What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?"
Katie (again sleeping) is poked by Joey's pencil again, and screams "If you stick that thing in me one more time I am going to crack it in half!"

3. Throwing pebbles
One morning a boy walks into the class late
His substitute teacher asks him "Where have you been"
He replies "Throwing pebbles at a car"
15 minutes later a girl walks in the teacher asks 'where have you been' she answers "throwing pebbles at a car"
2 hours later a young girl comes in all bruised and dirty the teacher asks "Let me guess you were throwing pebbles at a car" she answers "No miss, I am pebbles"

4.  Strange shocks
 Teacher: What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!
Ramu: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home.

5. Teacher is talkative person
Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Ramu: A teacher.

6. Shamu discovered america
Teacher: Shamu, go to the map and find  America.
Shamu: Here it is!
Teacher: Correct. Now, Ramu, who discovered America?
Ramu: Shamu!

7. Seconds in a year
Teacher: How many seconds in a minute?
Student: 60
Teacher: How many minutes in an hour?
Student: 60
Teacher: Good, now for a hard one, how many seconds in a year?
Student: 12
Teacher: 12?
Student: Yes, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd...

8. Teacher and a girl
It was the first day of school and the teacher asked all the troublemakers to stand up. Finally this girl stood up and the teacher asked, "Are you a troublemaker?"
The girl said, "No." The teacher asked why she was standing and the girl said, "You looked lonely."

9. Changing world
"It's clear" said the teacher, "That you haven't studied your geography. What's your excuse?" "Well, my dad says the world is changing every day . So I decided to wait until it settles down!"

10. Two student 
Two students are talking:
Student 1: I have good news. The teacher said the exams will go on even if it rains or shines.
Student 2: what is so great about it?
Student 1: It’s snowing. 

more jokes

3. Complain

A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: hes allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. “Cold floors,” he says. They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words. He clears his throats and says, “Bad food.” They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him in for his two words. “I quit,” he says. “Thats not surprising,” the elders say. “You've done nothing but complain since you got here.”

4. In the restaurant

 I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and noticed that everybody was staring at me....

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

5. Genius student

Teacher asks student: What is the half of 8?
Student: Miss horizontally or vertically?
Teacher: What do mean?
Student: Horizontally it is 0 and vertically it is 3.

6. Eyes, nose and ears helps to see

Teacher: What makes you see?
student: My eyes, my nose and my ears.
Teacher: True for the eyes but why for your ears and nose?
student: It's to hold my glasses!!!

7. Just kidding

Father: Son this time, you have to score 90% marks in your exams.
Son: No father I'll score 100% marks.
Father: Why are you kidding?
Son: Who started?

8. Forgetting disease

 PATIENT: Doctor I keep on forgetting things.
DOCTOR: Since when did you have these problems?
PATIENT:What problems?

9. Faithful dogs 

Two neighbors are talking to each other.
First neighbor: Do you know that my dog is so smart, he waits for the newspaper to drop at the doorstep and then delivers it to me?
Second neighbor: Of course, I know that very well.
First neighbor: Really, well then, how?
Second neighbor: My dog came and told me.

10. Computer too feels tired

 Why was the computer tired when he got home?
Because he had a hard drive.

Jokes, jokes and all jokes

                                     Laughing is a kind of medicine in itself  to cure tension and anxiety. We should laugh again and again if there are trouble also and feel very happy .When we laugh we make other laugh too .Joke plays a vital importance to make us laugh.

           Lets laugh to make other laugh and be happy....

You are on your way to laugh....   

1. Tossing  the coin

       A young student reported for a final examination that consisted of only true/false questions. The student took a seat in the hall, stared at the test for five minutes, removed a coin from his pocket and started tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet. Heads meant true, tails meant false. The young student finished the exam in 30 minutes, while the rest of the class was sweating it out. Suddenly, during the last few minutes, the young student began desperately throwing the coin and sweating profusely. The moderator, alarmed, approached the student and asked what was going on. "Well, I finished the exam in half an hour," said the student, "but I thought I ought to recheck my  answers." 

2. Ideas

A lawyer, an economist, and a teacher were going to the bathroom. The lawyer gets done, washes his hands, and then proceeds to use almost the entire roll of paper towels to dry his hands. He says "I was taught to be thorough." The economist gets done, washes his hands, but uses only one paper towel. He says "I was taught to be environmentally friendly." The teacher gets done and leaves without washing his hands. He says "I was taught not to piss on my hands."